


Love, Your Secret Admirer

by wldcts



Category: Love Simon (2018), Love Victor
Genre: Best Friends to Lovers, M/M, Pining, Sad with a Happy Ending, Secret Admirer, Unrequited Crush, its unrequited now but i swear it gets better, love simon series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:22:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24395713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wldcts/pseuds/wldcts
Summary: Felix couldn´t help but fall in love with his best friend, and it was getting harder and harder keeping his feelings bottled up. So he took what was probably the boldest and most stupid decision in his entire life: he would start sending Victor letters as a secret admirer.
Relationships: Velix, Venji, Victor Salazar/Benji, Victor Salazar/Benji Campbell, Victor Salazar/Felix, Victor Salazar/Felix Weston
Comments: 16
Kudos: 94





	Love, Your Secret Admirer

Felix Bartholomew knew he was bi at fifth grade when he was partnered with Ethan Sanchez for history project. Ethan was beautiful, with his reddish brown skin and his beautiful smile and soothing voice and always perfectly cut curly hair, he was the most beautiful guy Felix had ever seen. After he met him, Ethan would be in his dreams every night. The dreams weren´t much, he just visualised them both laying down in the grass at night holding hands and talking about anything and everything. And sometimes kissing.  
Yeah, that´s when he knew he definitely wasn´t straight. And he felt terrified. He was confused, and alone, and scared. No one could know. So he lived his life keeping it a secret from everyone, and hoped it would be kept a secret.  
But it all changed when the new neighbors moved in. His mom asked him to go welcome the neighbors and give them the pie, and so he went. But he stopped in his tracks when he saw the other guy. Tan skin, pretty dark brown eyes, lost puppy face. Victor Salazar. He immediately connected with the boy and he knew there was no way of escaping that warm feeling in his chest, but he would try his best.  
Apart from some issues at the beginning, Victor and Felix started to get really close. They would talk everyday, share their secrets, tell jokes. They shared a lot of classes, so after school they would always do homework together, alternating between each other´s apartments. Felix would go to all of Victor´s basketball games, and Victor would go to all Felix´s recitals.  
After so much time spent together and getting to know each other at their best and worst, Felix couldn´t help but fall in love, and it was getting harder and harder keeping his feelings bottled up. So he took what was probably the boldest and most stupid decision in his entire life: he would start sending Victor letters as a secret admirer.

_"Dear Victor,_

_This probably sounds weird, but seeing you and not telling you this was eating me up inside. So here it goes: I really, really like you.  
You´re so insanely attractive it feels unfair to everyone else in the world. The way your whole face lights up when you get a good grade on a test or when you shoot a basket or when you talk about your family. The way you smile when you win a game and the whole world disappears because your smile? the most beautiful smile in the whole world. I wish i could cause that smile someday._

_Sincelery,  
B" _

He decided to sign the letters with the first letter of his last name. No one knew his last name because come on, it was weird, so he would be safe. And so he did it.  
It was lunch and Felix was a trainwreck. What if Victor knew it was him? What if he found it weird? What if it didn´t like the letter? So many questions, so many worries, but it all vanished the second Victor entered the cafeteria. He was beaming, a bright smile like he´d never seen before.  
"Felix! Felix! You won´t believe what happened!!"  
"If you tell me, maybe i will" he pretended not to know.  
"So, i opened my locker when i got to school this morning, and a piece of paper fell off. Turns out it was a letter from a secret admirer, and Felix, its beautiful! I never imagined someone would look at me like that!"  
If you think our dear Felix started blushing at that, you are absolutely right. But Victor, oblivious as always, didn´t notice. He was lost in his own little world.  
"Do you have any idea of who it could be?"  
"No" he answered sadly "They didn´t leave any contacts, or how i could possibly answer the letter. All i have is the signature. B. That´s it."  
"Well, do you have anyone you… want it to be?"  
Victor blushed a little, and involuntarily gave a tiny smile. There was someone, he knew it. But Victor wouldn´t give away.  
"Not really. Let´s just hope they give more hints on the next one?"

The next day, Felix decided to write a letter saying that he was a guy and that´s why he chose to do it anonymously, and that he hoped it was okay. He also gave Victor an instruction to, if he wanted, leave an answer at the top of his locker so they could start talking.  
Felix was waiting for Victor to come to lunch all happy and mentioning the letter like he did yesterday, but it didn´t happen. He pretended to be sad about not getting a letter today, and told his friend that if something new happened he would say.  
What Victor didn´t know, is that his best friend knew it was a lie. And thinking about why he lied was eating him inside.  
He almost didn´t check his crush´s locker because of the fear of seeing nothing there, but some exterior force drove him to try. And he was glad he did, because there, above Victor´s locker, was a letter.

_"Dear B,_

_Thank you so much for your letters. A part of me thinks this might be a prank and makes me a little scared, but another part of me is flattered that someone could ever look at me the way you just described you did.  
I get why you´re anonymous now. Don´t worry, I don´t mind. I´m sorry you have to hide yourself, hopefully someday you will be able to be fully comfortable and out.  
But do you mind telling things about yourself? Not physically, i´m not trying to figure out who you are just yet, i just want to talk to you. What grade are you on? Whats your favorite subject? And your favorite movie?_

_Talk to you later,  
Victor" _

Felix was beaming the rest of the day. Victor didn´t mind that he was a guy!! Wait, did that mean he was….. Nevermind. Stop speculating. You know you´re not supposed to speculate people´s sexualities.

Weeks went by and both boys kept sending each other letters almost every day. The brunet boy would wait for Victor to talk happily about the letters during lunch, and he couldn´t stop noticing that his best friend kept some details off. For example, he still hasn´t mentioned that his penpal was a guy.  
Then, on a saturday evening, Victor texted him “Hey, can we talk outside?”  
He was quick to answer “sure, be out in 5”

His friend was sitting at the sidewalk, anxiously playing with his fingers.

"Hey, what´s up? You seem nervous." He said while sitting next to his friend.  
"I… have something to tell you." Victor said looking at the asphalt.  
"Whatever it is, you can tell me. I´ll be right here to support you always. Unless you hid a body. Then you´re on your own. " He said to break the tension. It worked, because Victor laughed a little.  
"Okay, here it goes." A long pause, he was taking several breaths. "I´m gay. And i know you might feel weird about hanging out with me and i get it but i really don´t want this to change anything between us." Boy, how Felix wanted things to change. But not now. This was his moment.  
"Victor, look at me." He waited until he did, he could see tears in his friends eyes. "Nothing will drive me away. You´re my best friend and i love you no matter what. Thank you for telling me."  
"Okay, that´s a relief…" Another pause. "There´s more."  
"More?"  
"Remember those letters i was receiving?" He nodded, now anxious too. Did Victor find out it was him? "Well, they´re from a guy. And i think i know who he is."  
"Who?" His voice was barely a whisper. He couldn´t gather more words right now, so this would have to be enough.  
"I think it´s Benji" ouch "I mean, it makes sense. He´s a guy, my penpal signs up with a “B”, Benji starts with a B. And he´s openly gay." don´t cry Felix, don´t cry "And we kind of went on a date last night? And it was amazing. I think i really like him. If he really is the one sending me the letters, then i´m sure that i like him."  
"That´s… amazing bud. Glad to hear that you´re happy. Look, i need to go, my mom needs my help for dinner, we talk later okay?"

And he left, almost running. He needed to get to his room before the tears started rolling off. This is a nightmare. Victor likes Benji. Benji apparently likes Victor. How could he ruin that and say that he was he one sending him letters? He couldn´t ruin this for his friend. Especially because he clearly never considered him to be his penpal.  
Felix cried himself to sleep that night.

**Author's Note:**

> It hurts now, but i swear it gets better on the next chapter.


End file.
